I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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