I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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