I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
