oh god the rape fog is back!
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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