This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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