I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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