either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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