AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
