i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
