you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
