just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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