hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
