WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
