I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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