no, he came in my armpit
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
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Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
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You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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