please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I want a musical about memes.
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