Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
