I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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