walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
