Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
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he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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