Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
they need to just BURY HIM!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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