I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
40s are totally the cure
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
