Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
