my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize