I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.