dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.