i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
