it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I cannot find my penis.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
