I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
