what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
