Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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