mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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