U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
