Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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