Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
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