Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize