Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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