So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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