You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
