Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
