the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Best friends brother. Beat that.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
