Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
please come you make the beer taste better
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
