Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
How external is "for external use only"?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
