Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
