Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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