I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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