Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
