I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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