woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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