i don't like sucking hair
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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