I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize