people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
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Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
did i walk over a car last night?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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