Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
