i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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