Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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