She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He? As in you personified your dick?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
