i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
