she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
