ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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