so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
