Me too!
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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