Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
