What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
