Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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