dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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