im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I AM VODKA MAN
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
