its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
