i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Randomize
