The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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