um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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