After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
